E Maths
(Out of respect and sake of anonymity, I will not be naming anyone in this post)
Last night was a rough and stormy night. Slept early at 10pm, thinking that I will be prepared for tomorrow's mathematics paper...
Until 1am when I suddenly started sweating profusely. I experienced the excruciating pain from the curry last night. Instead of getting myself up and ready for the exam, I had the night up with the runs. At least 3 times I remembered. Ok, things seemed gloomy at 4 am. I was wondering what I am going to do if I had needed to answer the call of nature during the 2 1/2 hr paper. And in addtion, it's the major examiniation, and I cannot miss it! Sigh.. life's like that.
Fortunately for me, I took two doses of really yucky-tasting doses of medication, and with a little medical oil, the pain subsided. Of course, this whole process drained me totally out of my energy. So my plan of getting energetic for the paper backfired. Oh well, life's so unexpected.
Today's paper turned out straightforward. Just that there were little tricky parts. Overall, the paper turned out easy, which all of my Secondary 4 pals found likewise. Even someone had the cheek to say "Haiz yo, to think we could actually spent 4 years studying E Maths to take a paper like this."
However, this phenomenon actually worries me. The simplicity of the paper freaked me out. This means that if everybody finds it easy, and people like me tends to make ultimately stupid and careless mistakes, it will put me at a disadvantage. It might totally rob me of my A1 (just like A Maths during prelims). Sigh, better not get my expectations too high, might end up a big disappointment.
Today's officially halfway through our torment. And I have started to worry a lot. Recently, I began to feel the pressure about not being able to do as well as expected. Teachers, parents, peers, juniors alike, are all hoping to see me produce those wonderous results. For example, a teacher told me today, "Terence, make sure you get 6 points ah. We all depend on you,*censored*'s reputation depends solely on you. Do us proud."
I begin to worry for many things. Like for example, due to time constrain, I actually wrote very fast during the Social Studies paper and the Biology essay. I am pretty worried that the marker (Sg/Cambridge) might not want to mark my paper for my horrendous handwriting and give me a zero for the whole question. This is despite knowing that I have done quite ok for Social Studies in context. I also worry about making careless mistakes for Mathematics, and even about losing marks for "spelling" mistakes, so on and so forth.
In addition to this issue, I was also discussing with my friends on this issue as well. And he told me, "Wa lau, people like you sure get 6 points one la!"
I have been told, "i think you're a very confident man... getting 7/6 wont be a problem." Subconsciously, all these adds up to my stress. The fear of not being able to achieve what's expected. Sometimes I would reflect on this and pounder. Being confident is one thing. It sets you out the right image you protray, allowing people to know that you have come well-prepared. However, I believe sometimes I may end up far off the pivot (meaning not balanced). Overconfidence and complacency can bring to one's downfall. (Lesson from Venice)
Worried. Fear. Anxiety. shall linger in me.
Last night was a rough and stormy night. Slept early at 10pm, thinking that I will be prepared for tomorrow's mathematics paper...
Until 1am when I suddenly started sweating profusely. I experienced the excruciating pain from the curry last night. Instead of getting myself up and ready for the exam, I had the night up with the runs. At least 3 times I remembered. Ok, things seemed gloomy at 4 am. I was wondering what I am going to do if I had needed to answer the call of nature during the 2 1/2 hr paper. And in addtion, it's the major examiniation, and I cannot miss it! Sigh.. life's like that.
Fortunately for me, I took two doses of really yucky-tasting doses of medication, and with a little medical oil, the pain subsided. Of course, this whole process drained me totally out of my energy. So my plan of getting energetic for the paper backfired. Oh well, life's so unexpected.
Today's paper turned out straightforward. Just that there were little tricky parts. Overall, the paper turned out easy, which all of my Secondary 4 pals found likewise. Even someone had the cheek to say "Haiz yo, to think we could actually spent 4 years studying E Maths to take a paper like this."
However, this phenomenon actually worries me. The simplicity of the paper freaked me out. This means that if everybody finds it easy, and people like me tends to make ultimately stupid and careless mistakes, it will put me at a disadvantage. It might totally rob me of my A1 (just like A Maths during prelims). Sigh, better not get my expectations too high, might end up a big disappointment.
Today's officially halfway through our torment. And I have started to worry a lot. Recently, I began to feel the pressure about not being able to do as well as expected. Teachers, parents, peers, juniors alike, are all hoping to see me produce those wonderous results. For example, a teacher told me today, "Terence, make sure you get 6 points ah. We all depend on you,
I begin to worry for many things. Like for example, due to time constrain, I actually wrote very fast during the Social Studies paper and the Biology essay. I am pretty worried that the marker (Sg/Cambridge) might not want to mark my paper for my horrendous handwriting and give me a zero for the whole question. This is despite knowing that I have done quite ok for Social Studies in context. I also worry about making careless mistakes for Mathematics, and even about losing marks for "spelling" mistakes, so on and so forth.
In addition to this issue, I was also discussing with my friends on this issue as well. And he told me, "Wa lau, people like you sure get 6 points one la!"
I have been told, "i think you're a very confident man... getting 7/6 wont be a problem." Subconsciously, all these adds up to my stress. The fear of not being able to achieve what's expected. Sometimes I would reflect on this and pounder. Being confident is one thing. It sets you out the right image you protray, allowing people to know that you have come well-prepared. However, I believe sometimes I may end up far off the pivot (meaning not balanced). Overconfidence and complacency can bring to one's downfall. (Lesson from Venice)
Worried. Fear. Anxiety. shall linger in me.
em@il sent in @ 4:19 PM
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